Yesterday while Bonita was grocery shopping, she saw someone throw out 5 kittens in the parking lot and took off. People all around were picking up the kittens and so did Bonita. Now we have to purchase cat supplies since she wants to keep ‘Fluffy’ as she named it, in the house. I told her that was fine as long as she cleans the litter box (assuming it does use a litter box) and takes care of her new friend. That’s only fair.
Since I love horses, the friend of mine that lets me ride her horses sent this to me thinking I would enjoy it. She was right. I thought it was too funny.
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.Then one day, the rancher’s widow said to the hired hand, “You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels.” The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return. Two o’clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.She quietly called him over to her.
“Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. “Now take off my boots.” He did as she asked, ever so slowly. “Now take off my socks” He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.”Now take off my skirt.”He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. “Now take off my bra.” Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said, “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired.”
I guess the reason I thought it was so funny is I had a gay friend that used to borrow my clothes all the time but with my permission. I hated it when he looked better in my clothes than I did.
I just found out the hard way that I’m not fully covered by my insurance company. Well I started looking for insurance quotes the moment I figured it out. Thank God I have a friend that is in insurance and for some reason, she asked to see my policy. Seems I wasn’t as covered as I should have been. If something would have happened, I could have lost everything. Thank God for friends!
A girlfriend of mine sent me this by email and I just thought it was the funniest thing. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET.
HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT’S UP.
THE LITTLE BOY IS GRIPPING ON TO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITTING HIMSELF ON TOP OF THE HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND. HIS MOTHER SAYS: “BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU’VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE.”
BILLY SAYS: “I’M FINE, MOMMY. I JUST HAVEN’T GONE ‘DOODY’ YET.”
MOTHER SAYS: “OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES. BUT, BILLY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?”
BILLY SAYS: “WORKS FOR KETCHUP.”
A good friend that lives close to me has horses. I have always loved horses and when I can get away, she let’s me ride Stormy. That’s one of her horses that was born on a stormy day, hince the name. Anyway I got some great equestrian apparel online. If you’re going to ride, you need to dress for riding, you know? Besides, I like so many of the items they offer for sale.