The government issued a warning today that mosquitoes have been found in our area with the West Nile virus. I don’t like to wear bug spray, but getting bit by a mosquito and coming down with West Nile virus is not a good outcome. I think I’ll pick up a spray bottle of OFF when I go to the store this evening.
My brother sent me this email and said it sounded like something I might do. He might be right. Enjoy!!!
Never Argue with a Woman
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, ‘Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?’
‘Reading a book,’ she replies, (thinking, ‘Isn’t that obvious?’)
‘You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,’ he informs her.
‘I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading’
‘Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.’
‘For reading a book,’ she replies,
‘You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,’ he informs her again,
‘I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading’
‘Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.’
‘If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,’ says the woman.
‘But I haven’t even touched you,’ says the game warden.
‘That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.’
‘Have a nice day ma’am,’ and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.. It’s likely she can also think.
I haven’t spoken much about Antonio lately, have I? Well he’s still overseas but we write and talk to each other at least once a week. It’s hard having a long distance relationship but we are just friends right now. Who knows what will happen when he comes home.
If I don’t get anything else out of this, I did find a friend. That in itself is a blessing. We can never have too many friends. Friends and family are what keep our souls reaching to be better and fill our lives with love. Well that’s what I think anyway.
Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father’s Day
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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska
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Coca-Cola was originally green.
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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled ‘Gentlemen Only….Ladies Forbidden’…and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature
wasn’t added until 5 years later.
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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
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In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase……… ‘goodnight, sleep tight.’
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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
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Q.If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter ‘A’?
A. One thousand
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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.
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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
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In the 1400′s a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have ‘the rule of thumb’
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It is impossible to lick your elbow. At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
I really hope that you love this as much as I did. Out of the mouth of babes as the saying goes and this is a great example of just that. It’s something I got in an email and just wanted to pass it along to all of you.
A father wanted to read a magazine but was being bothered by his little girl, Shelby. She wanted to know what the United States looked like. Finally, he tore a sheet out of his new magazine on which was printed the map of the country. Tearing it into small pieces, he gave it to Shelby and said, ‘Go into the other room and see if you can put this together. This will show you our whole country today.’
After a few minutes, Shelby returned and handed him the map, correctly fitted and taped together. The father was surprised and asked how she had finished so quickly. ‘Oh,’ she said, ‘on the other side of the paper is a picture of Jesus. When I got all of Jesus back where He belonged, then our country just came together.’
